Popped in to see the pop-up maze in Traf Sq

I love London. It is really that simple. Some say – ah, there goes on man obsessed with London hotels – and to that man I say “you there, have a pie my good fellow” (and shove it in their gob). Fortunately I was accompanied by many likeminded London loving individuals earlier today when we ventured in our lunch hour to Trafalgar Square, to see and behold the temporary entity that is the maze.

Yes, for this week only, a maze, 2 metres high hedges, in Trafalgar Square.

We queued, chatted, coffeed, laughed, & cried, and then, in about 20 London minutes, we were in. Strolling around there are signs for Carnaby Street, Regent Street etal, with more signposts giving deep insight into the origins of London’s most notable streets.

We got lost a few times (round Saville Row methinks), we ran into a couple of dead-ends, of which the legendary athletic Danno (of former Danzibar confederacy fame) teased some youngsters by pretending to stroll down the dead-end (and then they followed of course), what a funny japester he is.

If you get the chance I highly recommended having a whiz round the maze, if anything it is something light hearted, jolly, and fun to do in the normal working week – and if that doesn’t tickle your fanciful fancy sir – you get a badge too on your way out (if you find your way out of course).

So – a pop-up maze for the week, and now that the herd of elephants have popped up and herded off again, one can only wonder what further hilarities London still holds for us for the rest of the year to come.

Thank you London, for being, aMAZEing as usual.

Oh – yes – and – we did spot the Trafalgar hotel on the way back, but mentioning that would only be contrived and crazy, oh wait…

can you get me a london hotel – anywhere near the centre?

When I was a young lad my rents were always asking me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I knew, I always knew – I wanted to be london destination manager for lastminute.com – even though lastminute.com hadn’t yet been created and if you said www people would think you had some kind of speech issue, I knew that’s what I wanted to be, an ambassador for London, an authority of the hotels in the world’s best city, a force to make staying in London hotel’s the best proposition ever for everyone, and here I am, giving focus to London hotel’s one day at a time, to seek out new lifeforms, to boldly go where no london destination manager has ever gone before…..

Ok, I’ve had my decaff now, am ok, am ok. One of the best thing’s about the role of account managing london hotels is that you get to meet some darn interesting people, albeit hotel people, but we’re all threaded together by the same goals and interests (to make time travel possible? oh wait – “to make my hotel full with maximum ADR” – hah – he jested), to get the full potential of our London hotels out there. I was at the Bloomsbury hotel a while back when myself and the managers there suddenly realised that that hotel could possibly be at the very centre of London – what a slogan – imagine “the most central hotel in London”. Well! My first thought (selfishly of course) was that this would solve much of half of my week – the half where I get asked about 50 times “can you get me a london hotel – really cheap – and anywhere near the centre” (this is not a rant this is not a rant, ok, it’s a bit of a rant, a tiny one, but as my Mummy always said – rant rant rant and rant some more, ok, she didn’t actually say that, but if she knew the amount of times I was asked that question… she would (hi Mum, what time is the roast on bank holiday monday?). ……. 

Ok, fair play – we are the London Hotel Experts! but we get asked the question a lot, and it is a tough one – you want to help people, you want to sort them a great hotel – but the centre? that varies on who your audience is - is it near Hyde Park/ Kensington, is it in Soho, Piccadilly, Oxford Street, Fitzrovia (eh, who?), Mayfair, Marylebone, Blooomsbury, Covent Garden, I could go on of course (oh go on go on), anyway you see where I am going (where am  I going specifically?), be more specific people is my advice, anyyyyway, when the good people at  the Bloomsbury hotel mentioned that they could be “the most central London Hotel” (their quite correct logic that they are geographically the closest hotel to Centre Point) that was my thought – excellent – I will put everyone in there from now on! 

It was only when I strolled out that I recalled that Charing Cross is officially the centre-point of London – or rather – it is the point where distance is measured from London (i.e when you’re bowling down the M1 for example trying to get back to the old smoke, that is the miles countdown to Charing Cross. 

Andddddd of course there is a hotel right there called, quite imaginatively… “Charing Cross” and their slogan for the hotel? “London’s most central hotel” of course! 

Except! (stay with me people, stay with me, stayyyy, look, put the kettle on, because what I have to tell you next will not only change the course of time & history but will stun you to the point of more amazement than you’ve known was possible***), it is not strictly true that the Charing Cross is the most Centrally located geographically hotel (I know I know, you’ve never read something so interesting ever, imagine years from now, when they look back and read this article and realise THIS was where the legendary quest to find the most central london hotel began). So which hotel is it eh? (just tell usssssssss), I hear you. Well the point exactly was where a memorial cross lay - south of Trafalgar Square where the statue of King Charles I now stands, see this BBC link if you don’t believeeee me, and so it goes, the most central london hotel is…… The Trafalgar, yet, it is so super-trendy cutting-edge, funky man it’s got to beeeee funky, that it probably doesn’t even know it is officially at the centre of the universe, I mean London. 

But but but but (skip to the endddd) however, and, wait, easyyyy now, therefore, wwooooaahh nelly, of course the whole central london hotel thing – it is of course preference, readers of old (in my mind this blog has been going on for years) will know that Bloomsbury for me is an ideal place for the London visitor, and then there’s the legions of travellers that want to stay “anywhere near Covent Garden”, and then there are the tourists who must stay in the centre, the centre???? where is that, and so it goes on ad infinitum (which is Latin for ‘ok, seriously shudddup now’). 

Am off now to go into hiding re all the feedback I will get about being wrong, and that actually the centre is Stoke or something. 

***absolutely tosh, but by now you’ve read the article, so hey, don’t shoot the messenger

up where the air is clear, let’s gooooo fly a kite

In Trafalgar Square yesterday morning (seriously I was everywhere yesterday) my colleague suddenly burst into the song from Mary Poppins (or Puppins a la Dick Van Dyke style… Ma-haaairy Puppins as I live n’ breathe cor blimey); the song of course being feed the birds. Ironic I thought as I was just looking up at the Trafalgar Hotel (I told you I live and breathe hotels right?) looking up at their rooftop bar terrace, and thinking of the lyrics to another Poppins song ‘let’s goooooo fly a kite’ – I’d love to finish this paragraph with, we then went to St James’s Park and flew a kite, but err, that’s just crazy talk…. we went (I was with colleagues stroke tourists) to see the Guards at Horseguard’s parade instead.

Actually – here’s a tip, being the troublemaking rogue that is somehow me, we wanted to film my colleagues (of said ’stroke tourists’ fame, let’s for argument’s sake give them names, so Becki & Gems) kissing and making faces at a guard. We thought this a little cruel, so instead I said to Mr Guard ‘errr geeze, do you mind if I film you and the ladies like’ to which he gave the nod… the nod! yes. I know what you’re thinking, but yes – he nodded, he gave the nod, they doooo respond after all. Afterwards I did consider going back to ask if he’d mind them kissing him, but, I think the moment had passed. So – next time you have your pic taken with a guard – ask him, or say hi, or something anyway!

Anyway, back to the Trafalgar, I was amazed when I originally went up there, if you don’t know – it has a clear and incredible (to be said whilst jumping up and down) view of Trafalgar Square – just think about that for a moment…. firstly nothing or no other public space has that view, two imagine staring out not just over Nelson and his pigeons but over the whole London skyline, and three – look, it is incredible ok – you want more reasons to check it out? (oh wait – it’s not open just yet this season).  That’s me up there on top of the Trafalgar on the left, as you can see – I felt the need to break into song!